A year into the acknowledged COVID pandemic in the USA.

And I am going batty… It not even all of the bigger in your face things, like the five times we have had to quarantine in a year but all of the small things. I haven’t been able to relax at a friend’s kitchen table with a cup of tea in soooo long. Sleepovers are a thing of the past. I miss letting down with a friend or heck friends (plural), just being allowed to have some fun. In the last twelve months, there was always a monster lurking over head and in the corners. I am  constantly thinking through every decision, “is it safe?”, “am I being responsible?” I am throughly exhausted and simultaneously over stimulated.

There are plenty of silver linings. The pace has been slowed down, I do not have to drive my kids around as much, because many of their appointments are now on zoom (and it will stay that way). I have been able to participate in meetings that I would never have been able to travel weekly to and fro.

I have cracked the code to food storage and management in the house and unearthed my love for cooking that had been dormant for years.  My kids are even more involved in the food preparation. 

The siblings are actually getting along slightly better. There is more appreciation for school, more gratitude and I have seen myself and my children become more resilient. Family is a really a valued treasure. 

I have been forced to move my business in directions that promote growth online. The pandemic encouraged me to put myself out into the greater world with more gusto and presence. I practice better boundaries at work, because I do not have the same resources available for consumption.

There is a flux of change and growth, which is a good, it is also scary and feels really bad. I am reflecting on the year that just passed as we move from Winter into Spring. A natural time that we push forward into to projects, cleaning and getting things done. I am feeling like chilling and not being overly ambitious. 

I would rather go hang out by the water or bath in a forest. I would like to feel the mixed up combo of anger, confusion and hope that I am experiencing and say to myself, “cool, you made it through the bulk of a pandemic and you are taking one step at a time, still here, hey.”

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