I picked this idea up from someone, somewhere and I do not remember where that was.
My understanding is that before the post-transformational calm, there is a chaotic burst of energy, or there will be a chaotic burst of energy before we all go Extinct. Your guess is as good as mine, the path that the future will take.
Mythically, there is often an epic battle between the good forces and the bad. And just when we think the bad is going to win, the good prevails. I know that is the way most of us are hoping the current events will go. There have been plenty of times, historically, that the bad forces won in the world. Whole populations perished, because let’s face it, God is one kinky fuck and really lets anything happen.
Or is it that Human beings let anything happen?
Not really sure.
I do know that we are individually each facing a choice in our lives right now. A choice to either allow ourselves to transform or to remain static. Each of us make this choice on an everyday basis. We make it when we are sleeping and when we are traveling, bouncing through the day.
I am on the verge of giving up hope.
The hope that I once had, that if I worked hard enough in life and in my own trauma recovery process, I would prevail. That I would come to a place of abundance and love that I have always craved.
It is becoming clear to me, this is probably not going to happen. I have been working so doggedly hard for so long, willing myself through crisis after crisis. I could not take enough time to see. The cost of this type of exertion can never be replaced or fixed. Once the toll has been taken it is done. I am getting older, I can not replace the time that has been lost.
I have a choices, to slow down, enjoy the scenery. Become spiritual in my everyday life, I can love those that I choose to love. I can feel a sense of accomplishment for working so hard on my own personal evolution, with an incredible amount of stamina and lightheartedness.
I can reconcile with myself, I made a lot of poor choices, and I have also contributed a lot of good in the world. I am raising two humans and though this has been hard for me, I see the glimmer of two wonderful humans in the shape of space that they occupy here on a planet of mass and misconception.
There is a lot of buzz around changing our own inner conscious constellations and that is the change that is needed now in the world. This kind of self-work is the key to actualizing the world that I would like the children to inhabit.
My guess after studying human patterns for 30 years is that it is actually possible. We just need to believe it, focus on it, explore the possibilities of energetic manipulation.
A part choice, a part motivation and in-part to actively disown the lies that our minds believe about our purpose.
At this time in the season, I often write a piece about Earth time and the ever loving presence of the Mother energy.
I can’t say that ties in well, to what I just wrote, but I always come back to the power of love, the mercy of love, and the boundless love that comes with being a mother. That is why everyone is so afraid of Mothers, true superheros.
I often feel like I am talking into an abyss. I can not be seen and I am unknowable. The words I write are illegible and fall on blind eyes and deaf ears. Like walking in the world as a ghost and only interacting with a few. A strange state of being, that I have masked for a long time, simultaneously
pretending that I fit in, that I can model the way a human acts in Western culture. All the while wondering why no one sees and listens to what I firmly believe is the truth of the human way.
Chaos before the calm, what kind of BS is this? The burst of chaotic energy that occurs as a pattern is dying, before there is transformation of the cycle.
I have lived within this chaos for decades and so have most of us. It is an impossible place to see clearly, it is inherently undefinable. The only thing that we have to trust is our guts.
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