The pulses of IG and the trend of the narcissist/codependent recovery conversation continues to run rampant, everyone is an expert.
The blameless victim, gets discussed quite a bit. I think it is a fitting conversation because codependency and narcissism to some extent are Earth time conversations. Earth types are often codependent in nature, giving up too much energy to nurture and please others, not getting nourished enough.
A narcissist is probably more of a metal wood conversation but could be found in any element. Co-dependents can also be found in any element, there is no one prescription.
Ahhh we are discussing the Victim. So not to get distracted.
Both parties claim they are the victim, a funny coincidence. But really it is just to get out of taking responsibility for their own actions, a lack of accountability.
The codependent and the narcissist are making basically the same choices, choosing to treat or be treat poorly, two sides of the same coin.
There are major differences. Yet, It is a choice. I am not blaming anyone for their choices, I know it all so hard.
Either of these defense strategy, operate out of a system based on some fundamentally flawed idea of themselves. That they are not worthy. Low self-esteem, un-whole sense of self from traumatic experiences, the entire Western culture and its shame based controlling milieu of inflicting suffering.
Recognizing the patterns, naming them and giving tools for recovery, all necessary and valuable assets for healing.
But nothing is going to take away the painful feelings. You can not think your way out of this cycle. You can not mantra your way into feeling worthy. If someone is selling you something, anything, then that is not going to help you heal inside, it is another excuse. If you are asking someone else to do the work for you, it won’t work. You can look good on the outside but if you don’t work inside, nothing matters.
Let’s be real. Nothing replaces feeling the painful impulses that make you want to rage, cry, laugh, run and scream.
You have to face them, feel them, talk about them, do stuff that works for you to be able to tolerate (healthy stuff). And they never go away, it is the gift that keeps on giving, forever.
But it changes and you change, and the beautiful and joyful world feels free, beautiful and scintillating. The world is wide and it is full of experiences for you. Everyone has a place, it is a mystical condition at the very core of living. Intimacy is the same, vulnerability and strength that comes from learning how to suffer with grace and LOVE through it.
“A human life is a precious gift.” Ram Dass
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