“ If you are violent inside yourself then you will be violent outside. If you are critical to your self, then you will be critical to others.” R. Schwartz
Using the same logic, love yourself and you will love others.
It is always pleasing to me when I can overlap a Western psychotherapy model with a Chinese medical model. Richard Schwartz unpacks the concepts of multiple parts within each person, by inviting them to dialogue with the adult within, to restore health to the system of the Self (with a capital S). In Chinese medicine there are similar theories, one we call the Shen (with a capital S). Shen is the greater consciousness and each individual is a mirror of the holographic system. Little shen is a representation of the state of trauma within the heart space, in a human body. If the little shen is disrupted then there will be internal imbalance.
If there is energy brought to the little shen and awareness or light shines on it, there will be some balance automatically restored. A natural process of health occurs. It reminds me of the Five elements and how they make up multiple parts within a greater system that gravitates towards balance.
I like the idea of using parts of a whole to understand and heal the greater constellation. I do not like that there is one system that we have to follow. I think that might be too restrictive and confining, like we have to “get it right” and subscribe to an outsourced powerful entity to even start the work.
Once you are asked to give up a sense of self and your autonomy to be part of something other, I ask you to pause and consider if it is a useful system for you?
This is not an excuse to be lazy and to say that you are doing the work because you understand it intellectually. This inner work takes courage and practice. It takes some Love and connection to the body. How can you be sure that you are working with your body and not your mind?
My guess is that the feeling is really quite uncomfortable and when you are connecting to your body, you feel quite a lot of energetic movement.
A clue for me is that you experience some intense energetic movement within. It could move really fast or come back later that day to haunt you. I have a lot of gratitude for that feeling because it indicates the ability to transform and change.
It is the thing that we often want to stay away from and we will do anything to avoid. Our whole patriarchal culture is designed to support us in running from these feelings, it rewards us for not feeling, that is an example of being “good”.
Love is the thing that brings us out of this cycle, Love is messy and makes us feel, it brings us to the edge. The jumping off zone and the place where change is possible.
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